Divorce or a separation is a tough time for everyone involved, but it can be especially tough on the children. Divorce is a big stressor but for children, it can be especially difficult. If one parent leaves the home, it can cause separation anxiety and other worries. Your child may start to regress in behaviors, revert to baby talk, act out, or show signs of depression. Ensuring that your child is looked after properly during this time is important. If your child is showing signs of anxiety it is important to help them as soon as possible. Speaking to a professional about how to help children cope with anxiety of divorce or separation early on can make things a little easier for everyone.
How to Help Children Cope with Anxiety of Divorce or Separation
Be sure you have the right diagnosis – Since anxiety can manifest in different ways, you need to seek help from a professional and be sure you have the right diagnosis, so you know how to treat it properly. Sudden changes in character, nail-biting, even changes in eating or sleeping habits and so much more, it’s best to check with a professional. Google is great, but a professional has studied in this field and can suggest things personalized to your child.
Be patient with your children – If their anxiety starts to cause behaviors that frustrate you, it can be easy to lose your cool. It’s very important that you remain patient. Respect your child’s feelings and allow them to share with you. This is an important time for them to feel safe and know they can trust you.
Keep the routine the same – While it’s easier said than done, it’s important that you keep the routine at home as close to the same as possible. They will need to feel a sense of security as much as possible. This can be difficult especially if one parent moves out, but children crave routines. If possible, it’s best to discuss with the other parent the importance of finding balance in maintaining the same routine, even if in different homes.
Talk openly and honestly – Depending on the age, and ability to understand and process, of the child, you should talk openly and honestly with your children and listen to what they have to say. Never speak badly about the other parent to your children, no matter what has happened. Not only will it make things worse, but your child loves the other parent and they would be hurt to hear these things.
I hope that with these tips on how to help children cope with anxiety of divorce or separation, you can do your best to support your children. It won’t always be easy, and it will be important that you have a good support system to help you through it as well. Children feed off of our energy, and their feelings can easily become confused when our own issues aren’t addressed.
Do you have any tips that you would like to share on how to help children cope with anxiety of divorce or separation that have helped you and your children?
Comments (43)
thank you for this i have a friends son going through this & now i know how to talk to him a little better. thank you
Thanks for this article. It is helpful even as an adult.
great
That is such an important topic! Thank you for sharing with us. I wish my parents had had more of a sense of how to deal with this topic!
My parent’s divorced when I was 4 years old. I was always carrying around a stuffed animal in order to cope.
Great advice on a very important topic! This will help many!
This is an important topic because it affects so many people!
great tips! thank you for sharing
Very helpful advice on an important topic. Thank You!
This is very useful often when couples device the poor kids often get caught in the middle and get stressed out also think they are responsible for the split.
This is such a tough topic and an important one to discuss openly. Thank you for sharing.
Great post. I know you did touch on not talking badly about the other parent… make sure they do not over hear conversations with others when you might be venting to a friend or relative. Children often misinterpret at those times and can come away confused. Dont give the other parent excuses ie if they have promised something but le the other parent explain why it didnt happen. Get mad and cry elsewhere.
Great blog! I separated from my husband when my children were all under 10 years old. It is really hard when children don’t cope very well and miss their father.
This was the worst part of my marriage failure,what it did to my kids.We did everything we could to still be united as a family.I am happy to say their Dad and partner and my new husband are included in all family moments.It wasn’t easy,but we made it work.
Thank you for writing this article! It opened my eyes to a lot of things. Thank you!
Great information!! Thanks
Allot of times parents don’t think about how this will effect the child. The child might seem fine but deep down they are a mess
I know of a family who could use this info, thanks for sharing
This is sadly a situation that’s all too common these days. It’s important to keep to a routine.
This is a very important read for families going through this!
I think the point of supporting your children is very important. I think sometimes the parents focus more on their own anger than on the child or children’s needs.
Thank you for these great tips. Divorce is such a hard thing for anyone, let alone a child.
When my parents got divorced I was 12 years old and it was devastating.
Very good tips for a hard time for a family.
Great article. Divorce is so difficult for children to comprehend.
Going through the ups and downs with my kids and behavioral issues after divorce
Oh My Gosh Beck brought me here, Great Info!! Thumbs up.
Sadly, my parents did not address their four children’s (age 2 to 12) feelings at all. Each one of the four of us has suffered the repercussions.
Really good advice. I luckily did not have to go through this growing up. My parents are in fact still together.
Thank you for this article. I have a daughter who has been battling anxiety and depression most of her 18 years on this earth. Last June she lost her bestfriend whom was only 15 years old to a very rate form of brain cancer and it shattered her. She has battled the depression for over a year now, been on medications and seeked help with therapy and is just now starting to overcome this condition in order to just live out her life from day to day. We need to speak out more about these conditions so these children know they are not alone and have the support of everyone around them.
A counselor or therapist is always a good idea for a huge life change. Thanks for the article.
Divorce or seperation can be a huge impact on all people. Children cope with it differently as well, very informative
This is completely true, thanks for the great advice!
Being the Grandmother of three children ages 4 thru 12 I can tell you first hand that it’s not easy to help pick up the pieces of a shattered marriage. It breaks my heart to watch the children try to figure out what happened and why..I am the soft lap of comfort to help ease the fall.
It’s my experience, that it’s not so much the divorce that matters as it is how each parent handles the life afterwards. That is what leaves the most lasting memory. Thanks for posting!
This is really helpful
I was a child product of divorce. Your article is right on the money! Not all kids are good with change! They will act out or start blaming themselves for the divorce! They should not be casualties of war! My parents divorce was really bad – mostly on my dad’s side! We did not like being kept in the dark or lied too! It doesn’t help when one parent talks bad about the other or when they are put in the middle or forced to choose sides. The kids did not ask to be here. The husband and wife wanted them!! Also the kids should always be provided for! Not put them in the middle of a material/possessions war! Relatives could help keeping the kids first and reminding them that they love them and NOT forcing them to chose between their parents! After all, they are part of the divorce too! Keep loving them and don’t talk trash in front of them! They still need and love you dad and mom!! Thank you for sharing!
My parents went through a nasty divorce and we four kids got to experience Every. Awful. Second. My advice would be for parents to focus on their kids’ well-being first and foremost during this awful time
So much great information. I learned a lot, thanks for posting this.
My mother took me to a doctor when I was about 7 NC I had migraines all the time. He basically said it was due to our home life. My Father was an alcoholic and they fought all the time. I would like to say she tried to help me but she left the office furious and basically told me I was too young for headaches and said it was my own fault if i had them. Wish she would of real this
Great tips. My parents divorced when I was 4 and I had a lot of anger for decades.
I am glad that the younger generation is more willing to seek professional help. The best tip you gave to me is not to say anything bad about the other parent.Kids can judge for themselves.
Thanks for the great article! There are so many kids that can use the support.
This is really great blog post! I really think there needs to be more of an awareness for kids. Divorce can be a breaking point in a child’s life to have to go through. Anxiety is also an alarming thing when it comes to the youth. The points you brought out definitely could better both a child and parents life.